@buhsbaby_baby: Remember how they drove in 90's TV sitcoms...the horribly fake steering wheel turning - left right left right? That's how I actually drive.
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@iwearaonesie: [leaving the restaurant] wife me wife me [wearing 5 Burger King crowns] If they didn't want you to take more than one there'd be a sign
@markydoodoo: Milk toast was probably named by same lazy guy that named the fireplace and waterfall.
@DirtMcTurd: Inspired by T.G.I.Fridays, I opened a place called C.L.I.Thursdays. It closed down though because most guys couldnt find it