@SteveDutzy: Remember, if you get dumped, it's only because they're looking for someone sexier and more attractive. It has NOTHING to do with you.
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@PopSlapFunk: Dudes that only Retweet chicks: Your mom just called. Down to the basement. Come upstairs. Your dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets are ready.
@Arroia: Body language tells us a lot about people. For example, my neighbor really doesn't like to be held underwater for more than 2 minutes.
@man_spach: Just saved a bunch of money on my Glenn from The Walking Dead Halloween costume by not showering for a month.
@withanewname: psychic: "I see... I see kids in your future" me: "but I've had a vasectomy" [9 months later ... me tending a goat farm] "This's bullshit"