@SteveDutzy: Remember, if you get dumped, it's only because they're looking for someone sexier and more attractive. It has NOTHING to do with you.
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@panmidwest: [Therapist's Waiting Room] ME: you're gonna bring up that I always try to predict the future aren't you WIFE: yup ME: I knew it!
@djdarrellripley: Her: You have very beautiful hair. Me: Oh, you flirt! *Hands me her card* Her: If you're ever thinking about selling it, call me...
@lazerdoov: Interviewer: have you ever made, eaten or even seen a sandwich? Dude: no Interviewer: you're hired welcome to Subway
@Book_Krazy: Me: Im still mad at you for last night Hub: Well Today is the 1st. Which means that happened last month. Which means youre being ridiculous