@SteveDutzy: Remember, if you get dumped, it's only because they're looking for someone sexier and more attractive. It has NOTHING to do with you.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@lincnotfound: her: do you believe in astrology? me: yeah of course stars exist her: no like horoscopes me: ohhh, i use a telescope
@aissalanis: [first day as a torturer] Me: *throws stack of bills on the table* now call your doctors and the insurance company back and forth until you figure out what you need to pay. Captive: *crying* I’m ready to talk.
@Alex_N_Chains: NEW! "How to Act" DVD by Kristen Stewart! In love: :| Uncertain: :| Just married: :| Pregnant: :| Dead: :| Only $139.95! Act now!
@PimpBillClinton: Last night I finally slept with a woman who has a Coke bottle figure. Unfortunately, she was a 3 liter.