@heymonroe: Remember in 90's movies when the hot girl would enter a party in slow motion? That's what happens when I walk in a buffet.
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@StellaRtwot: I bet you the first person to invent puzzles was a woman that ripped up a picture of her husband.
@JermHimselfish: My doctor told me my testosterone level was unusually high. At least that's what I think he said, I could hardly hear him over the chainsaw.
@HiddenPinky: Buddhist Monk sees kid in Nirvana t-shirt: "You like Nirvana? What's your favorite step on the 8-fold Path?" Kid: Nevermind "Yeah, me, too."