@heymonroe: Remember in 90's movies when the hot girl would enter a party in slow motion? That's what happens when I walk in a buffet.
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@TomTheWicked: Facebook: "Do you want to tag Jennifer in this Picture?" Me: Hmmmm. does it make her look fat? Then yes, yes I do.
@Tmoney68: Brie is my favorite cheese that sounds like a white girl you meet for a mani/pedi while drinking Chardonnay & quoting "Mean Girls."
@UniqueDude2: [2 dead cats on ground] Cat Detective: Curiosity killed them but how…*dies* ~later~ [3 dead cats on ground] Cat Detective II: How di…*dies*