@FatherWithTwins: Remember, it's not a real paleo diet unless you're eating mammoth every day.
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@AaronFullerton: "Oh, don't use that picture of me, honey. Please, I look so old in that one. You must have a better picture." -Whistler's Mother
@ClassicMegan: If I were a waitress, I'd be planting fake engagement rings in every girl's food, just to see their boyfriends panic.
@robyn_vo: Dad: HEY come here, did you go to school with this guy on tv? Me: Dad, that's Spongebob Squarepants Dad: Must've been in your sister's class
@sageboggs: are those elderberries? [camera pans over to reveal a bunch of berries struggling to use the internet]