@PaperWash: Remember kids, those light up sneakers won't seem so cool when wolves are chasing you through the woods at night.
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@withanewname: "Kids, part of my comprehensive zombie apocalypse plan are these Tshirts to keep up with each other" "Daddy, why do ours say appetizer?"
@awkwardphilippe: [Pizza falls on the ground] Hold HOLD! -Germ boss telling his minions not to jump on the pizza until it's been a full five seconds.
@DaddyJew: Don't get mad. Get odd. Like incredibly odd. Show up in a clown suit to their work. Draw potatoes on all their mirrors. Make them be afraid.