@ImOnlineLol: remember: knives and alcohol don't mix. knives are solid they don't mix with anything. why where you trying to drink a knife anyways idiot
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@SassyChantelle: Everybody always says say "No!" to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late
@joshgondelman: "Why am I not asleep?" he thought, while shining a beam of pure information directly into his eyes from eight inches away.
@junejuly12: *gleefully prepares egg salad sandwiches for milestone birthday party of office nemesis*
@moooooog35: Me: Wanna have a quickie? Wife: Sure! Me: OMG really? Wife: Wait. Did you say quickie or cookie?