@ImOnlineLol: remember: knives and alcohol don't mix. knives are solid they don't mix with anything. why where you trying to drink a knife anyways idiot
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@abbycohenwl: My retirement plan is to buy several red polo shirts & anytime I need anything, go steal it from Target
@ohthatbadger: X: I hate when the cat just stands like that, frozen. Why does he do that? Me: He's on paws. X: … Me: 😁 On… paws. X: I hate you so much.
@aveuaskew: "You always overreact and make things dramatic. It's really annoying." *raises megaphone to lips* How so?
@QwertyJones3: Oh, you pronounce pecan like "puh kahn"? I always pronounced it "pee can". Differences in dialects can be so fascinating, right? Well, anywho, that's what your husband choked on.