@GeorgeScumbag: Remember ladies. It goes from Twitter to Kik to Voxer to cell phone number to address to being dismembered in a motel bathtub.
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@4boding: My daughter asked me to help her find a job because she’s learned enough in school. She’s 5.
@TheCatWhisprer: They say you should eat 6 small meals a day to lose weight so being an overachiever I have been eating 26 a day.
@jazmasta: [i walk in with broken ribs and face bleeding] yeah but you should see the other guy! [cut to: horse just chilling in a field enjoying life]