@GeorgeScumbag: Remember ladies. It goes from Twitter to Kik to Voxer to cell phone number to address to being dismembered in a motel bathtub.
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@DrDogMD: DR DOG: The test results came back. PATIENT: Oh God DR DOG: The tumor is-- *sees a squirrel out the window and takes off*
@0point5twins: STUDENT: what's it like being drunk? TEACHER: see those 6 desks? A drunk person would see 12. STUDENT: there are only 3 desks.