@GeorgeScumbag: Remember ladies. It goes from Twitter to Kik to Voxer to cell phone number to address to being dismembered in a motel bathtub.
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@trevso_electric: Isn't it so awkward when you misplace a Rolex? It's like, do I want to tell people that there's a free Rolex on the loose? Relatable, right?
@jwoodham: "Friends" ended 10 years ago today, but thanks to television, "me having friends" ended long before that.
@megbada: I absolutely recommend falling in love with your twitter crush and traveling about 3612 miles to boink them.
@vikkaroni: My husband and I are having a serious fight. Do you think I should let him know about it?