@GeorgeScumbag: Remember ladies. It goes from Twitter to Kik to Voxer to cell phone number to address to being dismembered in a motel bathtub.
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@TheReal_AndyMac: Someone once asked me if I was drunk. I said yes. That was the shortest job interview I've ever had.
@BetteMidler: Amal Clooney bought hubby George a riding lawnmower for his 55th birthday. I have never been so jealous of a garden tool in my life.
@mR_Ewe_GuY: My nephew didn't cry when Mufasa died so I stopped the movie. What is wrong with kids of today?
@Tw1tter_K1tten: Commercials for prescription drugs would be better if the actors had to act out the side effects too.