@Momfia: Remember ladies: when a guy says "I'm listening" what he means is "I bet if Godzilla had machine guns for arms he'd of been unstoppable".
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@WilliamAder: I know we're not supposed to say this, but our second black president looks just like our first black president to me.
@Papa_Mex: Big shoutout to my neighbors, who left their back door open accidentally, when I needed a few things and didn't want to go to the store...
@joshandbeyond: Dad: There's no use crying over spilled milk son. Me: But dad it was tequila! Dad: What!? *cries immensely*