@extranapkins: Remember "pantsing" people in high school... sneaking up behind one of your bros and slipping an extra pair of pants on over his pants
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@Kendragarden: The waitress said they were out of pizza but then much later I saw a pizza come out to another table. (My super villain origin story)
@Bownuggets: DATING TIP: Be a gentleman. Hold her door. Hold her hand. Hold her purse. Hold her for ransom. Demand a chopper. Fly away. Start a new life.
@whatmaddness: [inventing wedding dresses] a massive skirt! more skirt! MORE now, put a skirt over her face! god ya that’s the stuff