@jenniferfralic: Remember to horrify your friends and family by testing out your tweets on Facebook today
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: They should punish kids who do well in school with more homework to prepare them for what happens to people who are efficient at their jobs.
@LOUD_Thoughts_: I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
@KevinFarzad: I always keep a baseball bat under my bed in case 17 people break in and wanna play baseball