@realHamOnWry: Remember to keep the 'inmate' in 'intimate' by getting married.
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@ilovepie84: Your Ex is like spilt milk. If you put newspaper over them its like the mistake never happened.
@sixfootcandy: I just saw a guy with leather pants get out of an IROC-Z. I wanted to say "Welcome to the future, traveler. You're going to love it here!"
@RandomlyMJ: Thanks to Twitter I will never again ask a man "What are you thinking?" Because now I know and I am horrified.
@Sassafrantz: [stops during sex] If you spin my fanny pack around, there's sandwiches in there. Help yourself.