@jannable9: Remember to look both ways before crossing a woman.
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@Marlebean: I'm no heart surgeon but I have the most steady hand when scrolling through an ex's Facebook page.
@Mom_Overboard: [Texting] Him: Hey babe, what're you wearing? Me: *naked pooping* ummm...nothing Him: That's hot
@peaceintruth1: I'm at my quickest when I try to follow someone out of the bathroom so I don't have to touch the handle.