@FatherWithTwins: Remember: whatever fun game you invent for your kids, you're going to have to play it 10,000 times
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@Marlebean: The ONE time I actually want to say "duck", damn you autocorrect! "Sorry again! I'd love to join the preschool field trip to the DUCK pond"
@Jamdug: Friend: "Hey, that girl is cute. Can you put in a good word for me?" Me: "Sure" *walks up to girl* *whispers* "magnanimous"
@PaperWash: It's not about retweets or followers, it's about alienating your children so they learn to be independent and responsible