@mrsjohngoodman: Remember when The Backstreet Boys told us to show them the meaning of being lonely and we were like ok
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KevinFarzad: Your British accent is so attractive! If we had kids would they have British accents? We should do a scientific test & find out. For science
@krisv_723: Plot twist: I knock on Jehovah's Witnesses doors. "I'd like to talk to you about modern science "
@TheAlexNevil: My wife's celebrity "free pass" is Paul Rudd, and mine is my wife because yah right like I'm gonna walk into *that* propeller blade.
@SardonicTart: [Friend who gave birth a week ago] "I'm on the treadmill!" [Me who gave birth 18 years ago] "My tailbone still hurts"