@mrsjohngoodman: Remember when The Backstreet Boys told us to show them the meaning of being lonely and we were like ok
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@Smooheed: I'm the kind of girl people don't look twice at Even when I hit them hard with a shopping trolley one, two, thr... Yep, now he's looking
@brennadine: [First date] Him: Can you pass the- SOMETIMES WHEN I SLEEP ON MY STOMACH MY CAT LIES ON MY BACK LIKE A TINY SURFER
@noogscorner: Walk up to a girl, sniff her hair, and whisper "Perfect. Master will love you." This is a great way to increase your tolerance to Mace...