@mrsjohngoodman: Remember when The Backstreet Boys told us to show them the meaning of being lonely and we were like ok
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@garrydavenport: My local cinema was broken into last night and goods worth £15,000 stolen: a packet of popcorn and a medium Coke.
@jamisondg1: I wonder if in 100 years, ghosts of today will spell out "swag" or "bae" on the Ouija boards
@HannahSymmonds: Him: It's so damn sexy when women bite their lip Me: Like this? Him: The bottom lip.
@Aspersioncast: My daily horoscope says I just lost all of my decent followers by posting my daily horoscope on Twitter.