@dubstep4dads: "haha! silly rabbit! trix are for-" *rabbit puts a gun to the kids head* who are they for billy. tell me again who they're for

@ieatanddrink: I didn't post that copyright notice thing on my Facebook and I've already seen SIX of MY photos of me with my casseroles in BMW commercials

@SuchaDumbWorld: No officer, Vodka and I were hanging out and this car decided to join us.

@jonnysun: *turns on internet* computor, i need to take a break from trying to achieve one thing. show me all of the achievments of others all at once

@gaynorlsimpson: In a meeting. Can I go first? Thanks. Gets up and leaves.