@juliacomedy: remember when u found out the french word for seal was phoque and u were like this is the best day of my phoquing life
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@UnicornSyrup: "I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?"
@muskrat_john: "WHAT ARE WE TO TELL THE CHILDREN ABOUT GAYS MARRYING?" Dunno. I'll ask my 5-year-old, who just married her stuffed bear to a stuffed pony.
@DBMaxP: Who said losing weight was difficult? "Hello Blood Center? How much longer before I can donate another pint?"
@HuttonGray: Just saw the book "Marriage for Dummies." Shouldn't there be an "is" in there somewhere?
@KenJennings: "Phone Call to My Dad" feat. My Mom Yelling Things at Me in the Background
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