remember when u found out the french word for seal was phoque and u were like this is the best day of my phoquing life

@WhaJoTalkinBout: It's not so bad once you convince your kids that Santana is Christmas music.

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@mrtruthandsoul: How much of this "no more tears" shampoo do I have to feed this baby to get it to stop crying?

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@shariv67: They should really replace, "I now pronounce you man and wife" with "FINISH HIM!!"

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@JanelSantaCruz: Shoutout to Batman for being a true American and proving the only superpower you need is money.

154

@HiddenPinky: "Nice one." - me to my son, who is just learning to write numbers

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