@WilliamAder: Remember when we thought "Any kid can grow up to be President" was a good thing?
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@andreeahluscu: Funny how shampoo bottles weigh like, 2 pounds in real life, but when dropped in the shower they turn into a meteor.
@chuuew: ME: [gets into a car accident] EMT: Sir, please step out of the vehicle, we're trying to save lives
@TravLeBlanc: "What would Jesus do?" is an unfair question. He had superpowers. Your lifeboat is sinking. WWJD? Well, he'd get out and walk to shore. See?