@KingsnorthAP: Remember when we used to call the "self check-out" - 'Theft'?
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@SaveItForFest: You see me wildly flailing my arms. Did I: a) Walk through a spider web? b) Try to wrap something in Saran wrap? c) Try to use Scotch tape?
@delusions_of: Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have herpes. Laugh all you want, you'll still have herpes.
@WilliamAder: The shoulder belt retractor suddenly locked up this morning and now everyone in my car pool knows my safe word.