@Breadery: Remember when you were small & all you wanted was a pony but your parents were high on meth & thought the house was already full of ponies?
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@jergarl: [At urinal maker store] Urinal maker: Let's make some of them curved so the pee splashes on their legs LOL. Other urinal maker: K. LOL
@andreeahluscu: Funny how shampoo bottles weigh like, 2 pounds in real life, but when dropped in the shower they turn into a meteor.
@samalmightysam: The movie ''Finding Nemo'' would've lasted only 5 minutes if his mother would've looked for him.