@dance_blessed: Remember: You are like a snowflake. Beautiful. Unique. White. Only here for a short time. People get mad when you sit on their cars.
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@Irish_Dinosaur: "you should be more serious, sir. this is arson." "no this is MY son!" *tousles his hair* "ha ha ha. so how many houses did the rascal burn"
@HousewifeOfHell: How are we supposed to fear a storm named Grayson? I'm fighting an urge to iron its prep school uniform or ask it for investment advice.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: *looks at our pig* Which pig is she? Me: What do you mean? 4: Is her house made of bricks or sticks?