@dance_blessed: Remember: You are like a snowflake. Beautiful. Unique. White. Only here for a short time. People get mad when you sit on their cars.
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@abysmalkittybee: I never let people borrow my shoes, because if they walk a mile in them they'll know how much I exaggerate my problems.
@Jay_FrickinLynn: I accidently opened the fitness app and my phone immediately called to report itself stolen.
@PetrickSara: There are 2 kinds of parents “Stop climbing on the countertops! Get down! You’re going to fall and hurt yourself. DON’T JUMP!” and “Climb over and get Momma those cookies, while you’re up there!”