@dance_blessed: Remember: You are like a snowflake. Beautiful. Unique. White. Only here for a short time. People get mad when you sit on their cars.
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@kwirkyKerri: Shout out to girls that have a relationship with prisoners. At least they always know where their man is at.
@kumailn: 7:55 pm: Pours Diet Coke over fries to prevent self from eating them. 8:03 pm: Eats soggy Diet Coke fries.
@ThisOneSayz: *pops kid's balloon* *kid cries and runs away* *picks up kid's cake* Husband: wtf is wrong with you? Me: his piece was bigger!!