@dance_blessed: Remember: You are like a snowflake. Beautiful. Unique. White. Only here for a short time. People get mad when you sit on their cars.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@whereami18: I hope my kids love the gifts they receive for Christmas so I'll have more things to take away when I need to punish them
@dafloydsta: WIFE: Stop spending all our money ME: Okay, fine [later] WIFE: *visibly angry* WTF? ME: *zooming by on a new Segway* RELAX KAREN, I STOLE IT
@ohpeetie: Boyfriend is talking about taking me on a camping trip. Like, a real one where we'll sleep in a tent and pee outside. Is he mad at me?
@iamburtjarvis: "911, what's the emergency?" we were robbed. they stole the wireless router "calm down" also they shot my grandma or something. not sure