@Midgetspar: Remember: You can kill someone and wear their skin as a suit, but it's not identity theft until you use their debit card. Be smart about it.
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@Swishergirl24: When I hear teenagers talk I wonder why there's not a high school class dedicated to learning the definition of the word "literally"
@OhNoSheTwitnt: No thanks, babies. If I'm going to let something inside of my body that's going to destroy my figure, it'll be cheese, bread and booze.
@joeljeffrey: [At job interview] Interviewer: Do you have a police record? Me: No. But I do have a few of their albums on cassette *hires me instantly