@rickygervais: Remember, YOUR God is real. All those other Gods are ridiculous, made-up nonsense. But not yours. Your God is real. Whichever one that is.
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@alexjmann: You should marry the first person who can understand what you're saying while you brush your teeth.
@MomOnFire: Congrats on your beautiful newborn, one day you will look under her bed and know why you have ants.
@djdarrellripley: Doctor: Alright, your gonna feel a little prick on your hand. Me: If I feel a little prick on my hand somebody's getting sued...