@robdelaney: Reminder: Please just hit the "RT" button on my tweets if you're ugly. Don't want people associating your busted face with my art.
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@Mike__Lee: My boss asked if I had Facebook and I said sure and gave up the link. Then she asked about twitter. After an awkward silence I said, huh?
@junejuly12: He always wanted a surprise gift wrapped up in a big red bow. *carefully arranges shiny red ribbon around a wriggling porcupine*
@TheAlexNevil: How come when a child shouts "This is dumb" at a wedding it's considered cute, but when I do it, I'm immediately replaced by another priest?
@weirdralph: The next time someone says "expect the unexpected," I'm going to punch them in the nose and ask if they expected that.