@RealSamHarwood: Reminding Dad I'm too old for adoption really bums him out because that was one of his favorite threats when I was growing up
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@MommaUnfiltered: Murder was so easy in the 1800s... little bit of poison in your soup, murdered. Technology has ruined everything.
@Knob_ish: Scroll Scroll Scroll your phone, gently down the screen. Merilly Merrily Merrily Merrily MY GOD THAT'S OBSCENE!!!!!!!!!