@sunexplode: Remove dead skin by hurling yourself into an active volcano.
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@JeffLoveness: "I would absolutely say I'm an introvert!" - Guy screaming to his table full of friends at brunch.
@AHMalcolm: Conan: Texas recently had 9 earthquakes in a day. But don’t worry: Scientists are hard at work figuring out exactly what God was angry about
@seandunn76: 4 in 3 people have syphilis. Look to your left. Look to your right. One of you has syphilis twice.