@thentherewasmo: Renee Zellweger is living proof that if you keep making that face it's going to be stuck that way forever
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@FlyoverJoel: The five years of life you gain by eating healthy are spent preparing healthy food.
@BadJordon: I'm just a boy, standing in front of the toilet paper aisle, trying to decide whether I want to wipe with a pillow, a cloud, or a kitten.
@trentistweeting: "Go out there, kid! Make a name for yourself-" JAMARCUS McTHUNDERNUGGETS THE THIRD "Trent that's not really what i-" It's Jamarcus now
@goldengateblond: Wait til the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald's find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want.