@itchyturtle: Rent boat. Go out to sea. Find sperm whale. Tell him he's called sperm whale. Console sperm whale. Have fun with new whale best friend.
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@SaraMansford: My kid just put on an apron and made homemade brownies so forget the world, I'm not even the best mom in my house anymore.
@Aman93deep: My sister is holding her baby in one hand and a cup of Starbucks in the other, I'm going to toss her phone at her to see who gets dropped.
@SissiSay: Psychiatrists say girls tend to marry men like their fathers. That is probably the reason mothers cry at weddings.
@Mindless4Miles: Every gift from a child is special. Except for this, pine cone #763. I could really do without that.