@itchyturtle: Rent boat. Go out to sea. Find sperm whale. Tell him he's called sperm whale. Console sperm whale. Have fun with new whale best friend.
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@KentWGraham: Who decided that the abbreviation for pound should be two letters it doesn’t contain?
@HomeProbably: There are few things more awkward on a blind date than looking up from your phone to realise she's left. She obviously wasn't blind at all.
@AintNoFamily: I can't wait to stick my descriptive adjective all up in your noun until you verb all over my face.