@dreamthievin: Replace his deodorant with a glue stick so he thinks of you every time he tries to raise his arm to put around the shoulders of another girl
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@thatdutchperson: [remodel] Me: can you please keep that awful noise down? Contractor: for the last time, sir, we don't control who's running for president.
@SondraDeeMe: If by high maintenance you mean she looks like a stoned janitor, then yeah, she's high maintenance.
@Piecezilla: St Peter reviewing my browser history before I enter Heaven: I see you've had a hard time cooking chicken. All of that's behind you my child