@Scimommy: #ReplaceACelebWithAHouseHoldItem Nail Patrick Harris
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@noog: [sees girl reading To Kill A Mockingbird] “Ah I love that book. The way he just [clenches fist] kills all those frickin birds.”
@LoveNLunchmeat: Nothing makes sex more awkward than realizing your kid is awake... and standing outside your door... and playing the harmonica.
@Dawn_M_: Remember, your neighbours aren't going to be attacked by killer bees on their own. You have to want it. You need to make it happen.
@NotthatAdamWest: I don't know, Jay-Z. If I was worth half a billion dollars, I'd have like 3 problems. Max.