@WilliamAder: Replaced my shoelaces with ear buds and now they tie themselves.
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@TriciaLockwood: jason: may I tell u something? me: anything baby. jason: for the last year whenever u get drunk u start to make Pig Noises, u do it with a challenging look in ur eye, if I ask u about the Pig Noises u get offended and run away to the next room where u continue to oink softly
@Book_Krazy: Boss: This is the 3rd time I've seen you slacking off today. Do you know what that means? Me: You want me to move the couch into my office?
@kristinb5150: being in a club at my age feels more like i'm being set-up for an episode of "To Catch a Predator"