@WilliamAder: Replaced my shoelaces with ear buds and now they tie themselves.
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@iamspacegirl: You better watch out, you better not cry You better not pout, I'm telling you why Emotion signals weakness to your enemy Be vigilant, my son
@Marlebean: Damn boy! What's your zodiac sign? Bc I think we should make that Sagittariuu into SagittariUS Oh you're a Leo? Le OH ..where are you going?
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: I'm in the mood for dessert *winks at wife* [2 hours later] Wife: *in lingerie, texts* WHERE R U Me: *texts* Getting ice cream. Y?
@HeyZeus666: I lost a very dear friend and drinking buddy in a tragic accident this weekend. He got his finger caught in a wedding band.