@WilliamAder: Replaced my shoelaces with ear buds and now they tie themselves.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@carlyken: Told my coworker I want a dragon. He said I'm crazy for wanting anything that might set all my shit on fire but he's the one that's married.
@priya_ebooks: currently texting 'Happy Father's Day' to all the men in my phone to freak them out
@DanKCharnley: Shake what your momma gave ya! *shakes old decorative wreath* (pine needles and holly berries go everywhere)