@majesticminge: *replies to all sexy dms with pics of my laundry pile
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@Cheeseboy22: I try to explain to my kids during the movie that in reality, even a cowardly lion would eat a girl and a little dog.
@Dschnoeb: I bet Egyptians were all like "Yo, nobody in history will ever worship and revere cats like we do" and then came the internet.
@MarcusTheToken: Can't trust anyone that refuses to admitnThey are wrong. nnSidenote: I do have a place to hide their bodies.
@BabouDali: FOUR RULES FOR DATING MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER: 1) get her home by 11 p.m. 2) so we can chill 3) i have mario party 4) be my friend