@zachreinert03: Reporter got asked about any survivors of a plane crash & said 'its up in the air'. Dude if it was up in the air we wouldn't be in this mess
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@dankmccoy: Insane Clown Posse is really giving a bad name to all the rational clown posses out there.
@hunz74: 16 Y.O. employee: "There's a dirty diaper outside. What do I do with it?" Me: "Is there a live baby in it?" Him: "No." Me: "Throw it away."
@timdonakowski: Anyone else bite their bottom lip and make a noise when inserting your headphone plug? Me neither.
@thatguyJA: My son ate all the marshmallows in the Lucky Charms and well guess who isn't paying for his college now.