@markleggett: Reports are now emerging from Russia that Putin rode the meteorite while shirtless, steering it away from a box of kittens.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ericsshadow: My wife reads two books a week and I just told my son that an idiom is a group of idiots.
@Storminika: Me: 'Why are you going through my phone?' BF: 'Do you have something to hide?' Me: 'I'm gonna have a body to hide if you keep it up.'
@just_evolved: When a killer makes you dig your own grave, throw the soil far away so he has trouble backfilling.
@KaptainKoRnie: Since the invention of the smart phone, how many times have you clicked a desktop icon once and waited for a response. Ok, just me?