@ChaseMit: Republicans, don't forget to set your clocks back 50 years
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@spackary: Now I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she out in the field with a shovel & idk man she's diggin for somethin. Oh burying a body? Ok then
@hipstermermaid: "My desires are... unconventional." "Show me." *opens door to a room full of memes*
@TheMichaelRock: [at interview] Interviewer: tell me a little about yourself. Me: I'd rather not. I kinda want this job.
@samuelhlowe: If your name is spelled Duhniayle, don't hate me when I mispronounce it. Hate your parents & their ridiculous spelling decisions.