@rationalists: Republicans say they're not satisfied with Michele Obama's speech because she didn't give it from her kitchen.
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@TheToddWilliams: "Nothing is certain, except death and taxis." Don't you mean "ta-- *gets run over by a cab*
@Lisa_Laughs_: I'm just a girl, with a baseball bat, smashing my internet modem into a gazillion pieces.
@EndhooS: [Troy in the olden times] "WTF is that?" A wooden horse "It's not full of soldiers is it?" [from in horse] JUST TAKE IT INSIDE & HAVE A LOOK
@Eden_Eats: Poor Luigi when his parents were all, "This is Mario, we also call him 'Super Mario'. And this Luigi, we also call him 'Player 2'.