@ch000ch: request for a new client, your honor, i think this one's guilty
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@Area51eh: Me: Pack your bags.I won the lottery! G/F: Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff? Me: Doesn't matter, just get out.
@VaguelyFunnyDan: When my toddlers ask where mommy is, I explain that she's gone to heaven. That way they're super-excited when she gets back from the gym.
@SteveSuckington: Sure, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but they won't have sex with you either.