@pleatedjeans: *requests to be buried in jaws of T-Rex skeleton so it looks like I went out fighting*
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@Tmoney68: I've never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face.
@DanMentos: [first date] "so what do you do?" *thinking about the jar of coins I plan to use for new shrubs* I'm a hedge fund manager
@OhNoSheTwitnt: "You know, the average woman does it at least 8 times a year in her sleep." -Peter Parker attempting to convince Mary Jane to swallow
@Twitmytweeties: "Snitches get stitches" Cute little rhyme.. However I believe, "Snitches never wake up again" is more likely to deter snitching...