@pleatedjeans: *requests to be buried in jaws of T-Rex skeleton so it looks like I went out fighting*
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@McSwtrvst: *genie appears* I wish I was rich! GRANTED! YOU USED TO BE RICH ok!—wait what? FOR YOUR SECOND WISH, CONSIDER HAVING PAID ATTENTION IN CLASS
@Parkerlawyer: So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today.
@bourgeoisalien: #TT At 14 I yelled, "You'll NEVER understand Morrissey,dad!!" and tried to run dramatically out of the room but ran into a wall & fell over.