@Kyle_Lippert: Researchers have found why bears hibernate. "They're sad due to a break up" said one. "It's been a year Brent. Move on. I have" said another
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@Mr_Kapowski: *returns lost dog* Lady: That's not him. He was white Me: *holding a brown dog* He asked to swing by the salon. Add the color to my reward
@mellimelle: Just because I'm Irish doesn't mean I am always drunk. It means I always want to be.
@Jenny4ashley: Don't forget when you're tanning nude in your backyard that someone is zooming in on you from google earth satellite. You're welcome.
@goodtimenoel: Note to self: Before committing any murders, get head and shoulders. Can't be leaving DNA all over the place.