@Kyle_Lippert: Researchers have found why bears hibernate. "They're sad due to a break up" said one. "It's been a year Brent. Move on. I have" said another
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@Cheeseboy22: My wife got home and was mad when she saw I fed my son cake, banana, popcorn and M&M's for dinner. I was like, "You saw the banana, right?"
@NYC_Blonde: I want what any normal girl wants in life... A great job, a loving husband and to be the wallpaper on thousands of iPhones.
@Brianhopecomedy: My wife and I play this fun game at home where one of us says, "Could you watch the kids for a minute?" and runs.
@theshamingofjay: TRUMP: I'm building a wall to keep Mexicans out. AMERICANS: I'm going to Canada if Trump is elected. CANADIANS: We need to build a wall.