@AndyAsAdjective: Respond to every "How was your weekend?" today by staring off into the distance & whispering "So much blood..."
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@BigHeb7: I'm sick of hearing about this World Class chef at Taco Bell. Chefs don't work at Taco Bell. Your weed dealer works at Taco Bell.
@simoncholland: You realize kids in other countries make Air Jordan's and iPhones right? -Me responding poorly to my kid's homemade Father's Day gifts.
@nachosarah: when I see a girl tie a cherry stem with her tongue I put a whole fish in my mouth and pull out the skeleton then I leave with her boyfriend