@matttuff: Rest areas are weird. The guy in the stall next to me has four feet.
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@Book_Krazy: OUR KID WAS SOAKING WET WHEN YOU BROUGHT HIM HOME FROM SCHOOL! Me: [water pouring from backseat] Listen, this car pool thing was your idea
@StarWarsProblms: Anakin: Want to go out? Padmé: Ew. You’re 9. Anakin: Padmé: Talk to me in a decade when the age gap between us is exactly the same.
@thejodiest: I want an app that tells me when someone is thinking about me while having sex with someone else.