Me: waiter, what kind of choy is this
Waiter (who is a chicken): bok
@carltonhimself: "You're sure that's the right word?"
"Like, 80% sure, yeah."
@WheelTod: If your kid is having nightmares & keeps getting in bed with you in the night, a great solution is to go to sleep in full clown makeup.
@The_JRM: The main reason I tell my daughter that beauty is on the inside is because I'm in charge of her ponytail in the mornings.
@DurtMcHurtt: *running from the cops at night* DAMN THESE LIGHT-UP SHOES.
@peachesanscream: What if your dog speaks French and this whole time has been asking you for some beef?