Me: waiter, what kind of choy is this
Waiter (who is a chicken): bok
@Birdhumms: I got run over by a bus once but yes yes you're right, there's nothing worse than a paper cut!
@OhNoSheTwitnt: [Brings a snowball to a work meeting and tosses it at boss] I'm not trying to disprove the theory of global warming I just don't like you.
@P_o_n_k: [Praying mantis funeral]
PRIEST: He died doing what he loved
@Jeff_G_Nixon: [1st date]
HER: do you like charades?
MIME: [thumbs up]
MIME: [nodding 'yes']
MIME: [shooting self with finger gun]
@3sunzzz: H: The house is empty, why don't you go and slip into something more comfortable?
Me: great idea *comes back wearing fuzzy penguin pajamas*