@duplicitron: *returns four pounds of skirt steak to butcher* I'm sorry. This just doesn't fit me like I thought it would.
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@HeyZeus666: Answer : Mrs.Claus Question : Who was the only person in history that was unhappy when Santa came early?
@WillMckenzieNot: At a restaurant: "Would you like a table?" "No, not at all. I came here to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please."
@ColdPetRat: launch my dead body into space but not too far away. if my calculations are correct, i will win the public pool splash contest in 2076
@MrsMikePatton: I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.