@KimJungilSpirit: "Retweet! Retweet!" yelled the German Commander as we invaded Normandy
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@AndyRichter: Fun to hear newscasters, while their chopper hovers over an active crime scene, scold people "the last thing the police need is spectators"
@murrman5: *walks in house wearing a large neck brace* oh no, what happened? "my earbud cord got caught on a chair while I was walking"
@ShutUpThatsWho: [doctor's office] ME: I'm here for my test results [the vulture perched above his desk shuffles impatiently] DR: I have some bad news...