@KimJungilSpirit: "Retweet! Retweet!" yelled the German Commander as we invaded Normandy
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@thepunningman: Airport Security: Please remove your shoes Man: Don't be ridiculous, I'm no terrorist AS: Sir, do you want to use the bouncy castle or not?
@Laser_Cat: In space, no one can hear you scream. Because it's space, and everyone is on the ground. What are you even doing up there?
@Cryptoterra: NOBODY MOVE THIS IS A ROBBERY! *other robber looks over at me* dude no you can move. We talked about this. Get the money
@FattMernandez: I have this theory that McDonald's hamburgers are actually made out of their employees. That's why they're always hiring.