@TheTweetOfGod: Retweet this and something good will happen at some point in the near future that you can choose to attribute to having retweeted this.
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@SequelsWeWant: Back to the Future IV: Marty Mcfly stops being obsessed with his own family and goes back in time to kill Hitler.
@just1fool: I leave the window open at night hoping a drunk criminal will accidentally drop a bag of money inside while trying to break in.
@TheDairylandDon: If you wear a ship's captain's hat around, people will just do what you say. I run a Starbucks, a Target, a submarine, and two street gangs.
@tiffstevenson: Boyf said I look really pretty when I'm concentrating...I realised its cos I'm quiet! Either way it's the last time I let him watch me poo