@TheTweetOfGod: Retweet this and something good will happen at some point in the near future that you can choose to attribute to having retweeted this.
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@juliussharpe: I just hope this Justin Bieber thing doesn't make all yellow Lamborghini owners look bad.
@bourgeoisalien: I threw my cat a surprise party. Long story short, I need 30 stitches and learned I should never scream 'SURPRISE' directly in my cat's face
@Fickle_Filly: The puffer fish spends days creating a beautiful boudoir in which to lure a mate and I just want a man who can load the dishwasher properly.