@TheTweetOfGod: Retweet this and you'll go to heaven. Yes, the standards are now that low.
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@3sunzzz: In high school I carried around a pocket full of Barbie doll heads. Then when boys asked me for a little head, I gave them one.
@peachgrenade: A good friend is like a four leaf clover: sometimes you accidentally run them over with a lawnmower
@brennadine: I'VE GOT GOATLIKE SPEED & REFLEXES "Don't you mean catlike-" BAAAH [Climbs on top of roof and begins eating shingles]
@AIcohoIgames: Oh, you've already put up your Christmas tree? That's nothing. I'm already drunk for St. Patrick's Day.