@kelkulus: Revenge idea if a girlfriend dumps you: sneak into her house, tighten the lids on all her jars.
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@tarashoe: if you're in a bathroom & person in next stall sneezes, do you say bless you or just applaud like normal? need answer fast too late clapping
@joshbupkes: that moment when football players come out of the locker room and realize they're all wearing the same thing again
@mattselman: If the United States ever collapses, the upside is that we can finally use the blue starry part of American flags to make wizard hats.