@kelkulus: Revenge idea if a girlfriend dumps you: sneak into her house, tighten the lids on all her jars.
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@UNTRESOR: If video games taught me anything it's that you don't need to work because there's precious gems just laying around everywhere.
@man_spach: I shut down my computer in the middle of an iTunes update and I think Siri just sent a Terminator back in time to kill teenage me.
@BuckyIsotope: Nude Descending a Staircase is both my favorite work of art and the most common entry on my criminal records.
@iGreenMonk: The only reason why i am fat is because a tiny body could not store all this huge personality.