@GuyThe_Guy: Revenge is a dish best served with revengetables.
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@joejwest: MAGICIAN: Think of a horse ME: Ok MAGICIAN: You thinking of one? ME: Yep MAGICIAN: Cool right? ME: Very cool
@KeetPotato: me: "im confused, run that by me again" doctor: "you do not need to bring your cat to the hospital, that's just what we call the machine"
@One_FineMess: 4yo: What happened to the fish? Me: It drowned. 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: Must have been a really stupid fish.