@GuyThe_Guy: Revenge is a dish best served with revengetables.
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@weinerdog4life: The cops say I have to stop trying to fist fight the guy who tries to feed my house letters everyday.
@errdayhustlah: Whenever people say "don't judge me" I like to imagine them in the weird wigs British judges wear. *whispers* Judged you.
@Rlpihl: [Family Feud] What's your answer?! *whispers into microphone* Please help me, I don't even know these people
@Parkerlawyer: Told my kids I loved them at carpool and no one responded so I yelled, "I love you too!" while hanging out of the sunroof. Me, 1 Kids, 0