@Psycholane: Revenge is a dish whose photos I haven't yet seen on Instagram.
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@lawyerthoughts: Pro tip: if you absolutely must speak in court, do not put air quotes around "the law". Judges don't like it.
@AlexvanBeek: "No. No birthdays, Christmas or modern medicine.. But you sure do make great friends going door-to-door" *Door slams - Jehova's Witnesses
@thejamietighe: Me: GUESS WHO BOUGHT A MEGAPHONE? Neighbour: Get out of my house! Me: You're not even guessing.
@web_supergirl: coworker asked me if I needed a hug and now he doesn't work here because people that are on fire can't work.