@tsm560: Reverse psychology is like regular psychology except the woman is facing the other way.
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: (talking to anyone)
Largest and darkest hair in my nose: I WANT TO SAY HI TOO!
@Underchilde: You can tell your life sucks when you run into traffic and the cars go around you.
@shkeeber: Mummies are basically just zombie burritos.
@Prof_Hinkley: I wonder how long the first person to deliver twins waited before they realized that was the last one
@NicestHippo: "I just love making people laugh" - me, explaining why I do sex