@tsm560: Reverse psychology is like regular psychology except the woman is facing the other way.
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@hippieswordfish: 'maybe the world wasn't ready for pizza perfume' i thought to myself as i hid in a dumpster, watching the townspeople try to eat each other
@krisv_723: I'm here to make a donation. Nun: Blessings, the orphans could use... *Shoving my kid at her- A brother? I'd like a receipt. For my taxes.
@Elizasoul80: I'm gonna hire a person to speak at my funeral and say a bunch of crazy stuff about me so my friends and family think I had a secret life.