@tsm560: Reverse psychology is like regular psychology except the woman is facing the other way.
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@RobDenBleyker: I choose which country to root for in the Olympics by what cuisine I'm hungry for at the moment. Go Italy! #gnocchi2014
@FatuousFloozy: Women love a man that can cook, tell a lady you're interested in that youll cook anything their heart desires. And pray they say "spaghetti"
@jjhartinger: A telemarketer called and said,"can I speak with the man of the house." I replied, "sure" and gave the phone to the cat.
@novixv: [Plane starts to go down] *Frantically shoves an entire bag of Life Savers Gummies™ into my mouth*