@WookieOnUnicorn: Review of Black Holes: Zero Stars
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@SCbchbum: My dog crosses her paws regally while lying on the floor, like she didn't just eat the contents of the bathroom trash can.
@dulcetry: This Walmart is advertising $9.99 iPads to anyone who throws their baby into a snakepit.
@SkunkFarts: Once I meet a hot chick I automatically give her money. So if she says I'm stalking her I can tell the cops she's a hooker.