@NintenDom: Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except for one. He's never gonna give you Up.
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@TheSanch14: Boss: why do you deserve this promotion? Me: goes into very in depth pointless rant B: what drugs are you on? Me: good ones *leaves*
@jonlovett: If we can't hit our kids, what's next? A society slowly becoming less violent as we learn more about child development and human psychology?
@iwearaonesie: mom: no TV for a week! dad: and after you take a bath you can't use your hands to get out of the tub *sons jaw drops* mom: [whispers] nice